UFO - Spiral Wormhole in Tomsk Russia

Dr. Fong Says:

I have seen most of the UFO footage on the web that is worth seeing. I found this today and was intrigued.

This video is pretty strange. The light moving across the sky seems to have some sort of contrail behind it. It looks like the tail of a comet.

The light moves across the frame and then goes behind a cloud.

The video then zooms in on the object and something strange happens. The light begins so spiral inward right before the end of the video.

OMG Ghostbusters Vs Cthulhu

Part 1

Part 2

Dr. Fong Says:
Cthulhu Summoning on Coney Island...

This episode of the Ghostbusters cartoon has the Necronomicon, Miskatonic University, Cthulhu Cultists, Shuggoths, Deep Ones, Old One Summonings, Everything!

The cultists even do our favorite Cthulhu chant. Ia, Ia, Cthulhu Fhtagn!

This show actually holds up pretty well and is entertaining in a Saturday morning cartoon kind of way.

I had fun watching it even though the way they finally stop Cthulhu is totally unlikely.

Sorry that it's in 2 pieces.

The Death of Snakefish

Dr. Fong Says:

Dear Snakefish,

We had so little time together.

You used to whisper secrets to me while I slept. You told me secrets of the dark subterranean sea where you were born and of the mad gods that ruled the world before mankind. Now you are gone.

In the old days, you would eat 30 live guppies overnight. Lately, you had become listless and insane; roaming the tank day and night searching for a way out.

You thought you would find freedom over the aquarium's high glass walls. Instead you found death; dried to a crisp on the desolate & unforgiving carpet of my living room floor.

I made this video tribute for you. It reminds me of all the good times we spent together... even if I was afraid to put my hand in the aquarium for the year you lived with me.

The Lobster of Eternal Doom and Pimples

Huan Asks:
Is that a pimple on my face?????

Master Fong he send me to pick up new find that he negotiate to take into shop. I say oh man why me must go send someone else I hate that part of town. Then Master Fong he beat me with rug duster for several minutes while Peking the homunculus laugh.

That fine I say I go but Peking come with me to help me carry the statue.

Master Fong he look at me funny and say 'statue?'

That should have been good hint.

Anyway Peking and me we go down to the warehouse where keeping the Lobster of Eternal Doom and Pimples. Me hope it not made out of jade as that make statue very heavy and Huan put back out easy easy.

We get to warehouse and met by big man who look like he crying and has bad case of acne. I offer tissue and cleanser and tell him to lay off chocolate.

I not know if chocolate do cause acne but like I say he big and probably could use the break from fat and sugar.

Anyway he say that lobster can be found in back tank but he be guarded by plenty scary things. I say why you put statue in tank but beginning to suspect that not dealing with statue. Big man he begin to sob and Peking get cross at wasting time so we enter warehouse.

Inside warehouse there no anything else except a small table with fish tank and big red lobster staring at me with his beady little black eyes.

I laugh and say everyone is stupid as it just lobster and it will be easy as soon as Peking he tie up claws.

Peking he say go to hell he no get in tank with lobster as being made of clay he will crumble and besides the lobster look angry.

I say what you talk about lobster look angry? He lobster! Lobster no care what go on except no want to get eaten and who eat lobster of enternal doom anyway?

But Peking have good point about be made of all clay so I no force him to tie up lobster.

We approach lobster tank and out of nowhere two floating heads looking plenty angry attack us. When me say attack me mean they head butt us and it make awful clunk noise and one head he have Peking stuck to side of face and he try and shake him off but it hard with no hands.

Any way one head trying to knock Peking off smash into the other and they both go crashing to ground. Peking claim he act like Jack Bauer. I think Peking watch little too much television.

Anyway me go and struggle with lobster who after I manage to tie up claws make a humpff noise.

We carry him back to House of Mystery and he do look miserable entire way. But he get plenty happy when we drop him in giant tank in East Wing. It huge with lots space for evil lobster.

Now me go nap...

Holy Sh*t Man Walks on F*cking Moon!

Dr. Fong Says:

People walked on the moon.

You keep mentioning how you think it was all faked.

But you are wrong.

And frankly, you are just making yourself look crazy and making me feel uncomfortable.

So don't bring it up anymore.

Inhaling Alcohol - The New Cool Thing

Dr. Fong Says:
All the cool kids are doing it.

I learned a very neat trick while I was at home for Christmas.

alcohol is sooo 2006.
Inhaling alcohol is the future!

The new cool thing to do is inhale your alcohol so that it can get to your bloodstream more quickly thus getting you even more blindly drunk than you would be normally.

How can I inhale some alcohol?
  1. Drop some dry ice into a bottle of booze.
  2. Inhale the vapors.
  3. Get drunk.

No Pollute Future or Get Sore Head

Future Huan Says:
Where we're going we don't need roads... rrrr... rrrr... roads roads

So Huan he clean up while stupid Peking watch tv, me thought having a homunculus would be good. It wash dishes, clean up dusty corners, no sleep work good! But no!! Peking is lazy and watches Passions?????

Anyway Huan cleaning out east wing broom cupboard and me find weird looking bin. It have mystical writing on side. I excited cause there another place me can put garbage so i throw old house and garden magazines from waiting room in there and they disappear!!!!

This plenty good!!! So I throw all sorts of stuff in there including around 20 gallon old frogurt (bahahah banana flavour that no one buy).

Twenty minute later there loud boom come from west wing of shop and then who should appear but me, but snazzy dressed. I go "what you doing?" And he/I say that me throwing garbage into year 2009 and he have to clean it all over again.

Then he pull out rolled up 2009 January house and garden magazine with special dehydrated bricks in cover and then hit me over back of head.

Dehydrated bricks hurt just as bad as normal ones. I yell to him that me no care and I/He can get stuffed! Future Huan then tell me plot to OC for next season and it ruin my day so I apologise and promise to use future bin more properly if he no tell me more.

Time travel not to be played with. You learn lesson from Huan - cost you 50 cent. You send money by Paypal.

Mop of the Damned!

Huan Says:
Mop making funky smells go to heeeelllll

Huan back from cleaning convention and have very good time and make lots of email friends! No one except Master Fong become friend on mySpace yet. But me expecting plenty visitors soon!

While at convention I show people special mop very very special!
Mop of the Damned it make walls bleed at convention which were plenty big hit as others they get to clean up mess. You think Mop of Damned not so good clean up orange juice spill but you be wrong!!!

I come back and Peking he playing PS3 all day and no do any shop cleaning - there cobwebs on bucket of evil spider webs!

I clean. You join MySpace!

John Lilly - Dolphin Lover

Dr. Fong Says:
The man sure loved dolphins...

John Lilly (January 6, 1915 – September 30, 2001) was an American physician, psychoanalyst and writer.

He was a pioneer researcher into the nature of consciousness using as
his principal tools the isolation tank, dolphin communication and psychedelic drugs, sometimes in combination.

He was a prominent member of the Californian counterculture of scientists, mystics and thinkers that arose in the late 1960s and early 70s. Albert Hofmann, Gregory Bateson, Ram Dass, Timothy Leary, Werner Erhard, and Richard Feynman were all frequent visitors to his home.

In the early sixties he was introduced to psychedelics like LSD and Ketamine and began a series of experiments in which he took the psychedelic in an isolation tank and/or in the company of dolphins.

These events are described in his books Programming and Metaprogramming in the Human Biocomputer: Theory and Experiments and The Centre of the Cyclone, both published in 1972.

Later in life, Dr. Lilly laid out the design for a future "communications laboratory" that would be a floating living room where humans and dolphins could chat as equals and where they would find a common language.

He envisioned a time when all killing of whales and dolphins would cease, "not from a law being passed, but from each human understanding innately that these are ancient, sentient earth residents, with tremendous intelligence and enormous life force. Not someone to kill, but someone to learn from."

Even more about John Lilly at Wikipedia

Demon Familiar Tetragrammaton

Dr. Fong Says:
What a useful little creature he is.

Please Don't Touch!

I acquired this powerful curio while exploring Oaxaca, Mexico a few years ago. There is a small demon that lives inside this piece of carved and painted wood. His name is Tetragrammaton and he is a familiar.

A familiar is a spirit who obeys a witch, conjurer, or wizard to serve and help them.

Although they may not be as intelligent as their masters, familiars are often at least as intelligent as the average human.
Tetragrammaton is able to understand spoken Spanish but cannot speak at all. We are working on his understanding of spoken English, but it is slow going.

Familiars can often perform domestic duties that today's busy wizard has no time for. Some can also can aid their masters in bewitching people.

Sometimes they can look like ordinary animals and can be used to spy on their masters' enemies.
These spirits are also said to be able to inspire artists and writers. Some reclusive wizards rely on familiars as their closest friends.

Creatures like Tetragrammaton are very rebellious and will not accept just anyone as their master.

The Most Dangerous Toys of All Time

Juan the Chamula Says:
I want a rail gun for Christmas, mom and dad!

The good folks over at Radar online have put together a list of the top ten most dangerous toys of all time. My personal favorite is the Johnny Reb (see the video above and the image to your right). Yes this was a really toy. It was first marketed back in 1961, back in a time and place when a toy like this could be tolerated. I can just imagine how much fun kids had back then with a miniature cannon. Picture little Dixie tots shooting these things at all the colored children at school, as the moms look on and smile, "Aw... my little Johnny Reb." I really don't know what I find the most disturbing about this toy; Could it be its obviously dangerous function, its glorification of violence, or its homage to the brave, slave owning, inbreed Confederacy?

Another toy that was honored, Lawn Darts, were something I used to play with when I was just a lad. To be honest, I never realized that they could be so dangerous. I mean I guess I just never got the urge to toss one at my sister or try to catch one with my face. If you think about it, a lot of things when thrown at people can be pretty lethal. For example, rocks, televisions, frying pans, baseballs and even a tin soldier could be fairly deadly if thrown with accuracy and speed. I don't think lawn darts belong on this list, even if they are responsible for slightly more playground accidents than the deadly Merry Go Round!

This toy did not make the list, most likely due to the fact
it is of the playground variety. Still, I would make the argument that it is responsible for far more havoc than all the rest. There used to be an old, rusty, red one on the playground in the park where I used play. I remember one day when riding around on the thing with my friends, a couple of local hoods ran up and started really spinning the thing. It was amazingly horrible, being trapped completely dizzy like that. One of my buds fell off and busted up his face forever. Now he has to wear a helmet because if he bumps his head, his brain could come out. I look at this picture and want to tell those little girls to stay away. But I know they wont listen.

The bottom line is (this is true for children and most adults) that as danger level rises, fun level sky rockets. Why the hell else would I have an intense and irrational desire to own a shotgun. So, for all you parents out there, you are better off ignoring your common sense this holiday season. Go ahead buy your kids a nail gun or a gallon of gasoline and matches! It is what they really want to play with anyway.

Terence Mckenna: Incomprehensible to the Machines

Dr. Fong Says:
Terence and I go way back.

I have blogged about Terence Mckenna in the past and have listened to everything he ever said.

Once he gets going it is really hard to stop him. He is like some super techno-hippy from hyperspace. Terence loves Magic Mushrooms and the Internet. He hates the three enemys of the people. The three enemys of the people are "hegemony, monogamy, and monotony".

It is exciting that there is now a growing group of Terence's videos showing up on the Internet. Now everyone can see the wonder that is Terence Mckenna.

Excerpts from Dr. Carl Sagan's Article on Cannabis

Juan the Chamula Says:
This is yet another reason to like Carl Sagan.

"I do not consider myself a religious person in
the usual sense, but there is a religious aspect to some highs. The heightened sensitivity in all areas gives me a feeling of communion with my surroundings, both animate and inanimate. Sometimes a kind of existential perception of the absurd comes over me and I see with awful certainty the hypocrisies and posturing of myself and my fellow men. And at other times, there is a different sense of the absurd, a playful and whimsical awareness. Both of these senses of the absurd can be communicated, and some of the most rewarding highs I've had have been in sharing talk and perceptions and humor. Cannabis brings us an awareness that we spend a lifetime being trained to overlook and forget and put out of our minds. A sense of what the world is really like can be maddening; cannabis has brought me some feelings for what it is like to be crazy, and how we use that word 'crazy' to avoid thinking about things that are too painful for us."

"I find that most of the insights I achieve when high are into social issues, an area of creative scholarship very different from the one I am generally known for. I can remember one occasion, taking a shower with my wife while high, in which I had an idea on the origins and invalidities of racism in terms of gaussian distribution curves. It was a point obvious in a way, but rarely talked about. I drew the curves in soap on the shower wall, and went to write the idea down. One idea led to another, and at the end of about an hour of extremely hard work I found I had written eleven short essays on a wide range of social, political, philosophical, and human biological topics. Because of problems of space, I can't go into the details of these essays, but from all external signs, such as public reactions and expert commentary, they seem to contain valid insights. I have used them in university commencement addresses, public lectures, and in my books."

"...the illegality of cannabis is outrageous, an impediment to full utilization of a drug which helps produce the serenity and insight, sensitivity and fellowship so desperately needed in this increasingly mad and dangerous world."

Disturbing Hanged Dog Postcard

Dr. Fong Says:
Poor little fella..

This is a very disturbing postcard we found of a hanged dog. It says "Paying the Penalty" at the bottom.

Paying the penalty for what? What could the little guy have done to deserve this cruel treatment?

Some people I have talked to think that this is an elaborate taxidermy project, but I don't know.

We really would like to know the story behind this strange card. It's really quite a mystery. If anyone knows anything more about this postcard please let us know in the comments section.

The cancellation appears to say the postcard was was mailed in Blackpool in 1908. Sorry, this postcard was sold at our auction.

It's Huan Space!!!

Huan Says:
I'm in your extended network!!!

Today almost Huan's happiest day ever. Almost Huan bestest day ever was day that I found packet of just add water shrunken heads they better than sherbet! Oh I laugh!

No no today Huan join extended network and have site on MySpace!!!


He name is Tom!

You can visit Huan at MySpace Here!

You go and request friend me and I will approve and we be friends and I share secrets of House of Mystery!!!

Not all secrets just rubbish that Master Fong let me see. I will be away from MySpace and Blog for couple of days too - I go to Mop convention. I take cursed mop with bucket of madman ears. I expect to be big hit at convention and bring back many photos and ideas to clean the shop!

Ummm is that mud on your boots?

You get out now dirty traveller you no buy anything anyway!!!

Every Ray Harryhausen Monster, Ever

Dr. Fong Says:
It's all my favorites in one place!

"Ray Harryhausen is the acknowledged master of stop-motion animation. His work on movies like The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad and Jason and the Argonauts inspired almost everyone else who ever tried to animate three-dimensional figures, whether it was on major 35mm features done in Hollywood or little 8mm attempts done in some teenager's garage."

Learn more at Wikipedia

Who Huan? Who Asking?

Huan Says:
Luke Perry ruin Huan chances with Jenni Garth

Many people they say who Huan? What your story? Why you hate marshmallow so much?

I figure while Peking (that my homunculus name thank you dougiefresh) does cleaning in stock room I take time to give you low down on me.

I no know my parents I was left on doorstep as baby and taken in by wise Master Fong.

Master Fong he raise me and give me work in shop. One day when I was young I say me want to be star like william shatner on TV - you may know him from hit tv series TJ Hooker. He do other stuff... I don't know... who care when he TJ Hooker!!!

Anyway I go and try out for big movie Indiana Jones and Temple of Reasonable Danger (it later change to Temple of Doom - better title I don't know). I go for role of Short Round who was little american boy, they look me and go hey asian kid much better. I laugh and cry all at same time but then other kid come in and take role from Huan.

Huan very angry and turn to dark arts. I paint in poor lit room and hurt eyes till me get headache. Then me turn to occult.

I try out for film called goonies and once again get told that Huan no right for role - sloth seem good role but who care!

I then get recurring role on 90210 but have all scene cut because I spill drink on Luke Perry and he vengeful.

It ok cause I then get recurring role on Melrose but once again fortune not shine on Huan as for some reason every scene I blocked by pot plant. I only non major actor appear on every episode but not seen once!

Occult be good to Huan I conjure up all manner of scary. But one day it all go major wrong and me turn into bigfoot and have to hide in mountains.

Master Fong he find me and turn me back into Huan which plenty good for Huan and then he give me old job back and clean shop now.

Very excited time for Huan as I now even have email address that you can write to Huan!!!! It huantheshopboy@gmail.com - you write I may write back... then you may write back again and we keep in touch.

Next I must get on Myspace and get lot of online friends.

Ahhh Huan talk too long... plenty work to do have to unpack box of mothman eyeballs, they glow in dark make nice addition to xmas decoration...

You buy one now?

Chinese Opium Dens

Dr. Fong Says:
What's the matter with that cat there? Must be full of reefers.

Boy, you know things are getting bad when you can't even sit up to do a bong hit anymore! Daddy needs his medicine. Kitty needs his medicine.

In case you can't read the bottom of the image it says: "Chinese Opium Den, 614 Jackson St., Chinatown, San Francisco" and "The cat has also become addicted to the fumes of the drug".

"Opium dens proved to be a lucrative business for the Chinese all along the railroad route. Even a small stop for the S & P Railroad like Lordsburg, New Mexico, had its joint. In a phone interview, Jana Loo Hill, a Lordsburg historian, said that an underground den for gambling and opium smoking existed behind the recently demolished Hollen Hotel."

Chinese Opium Dens in America

From The Gospel of Fong

Juan the Chamula Says:

Long ago in the land of the Chamula...

Long ago, when I was but a young Chamula, I happened upon an old man as I walked down the road to the Mayan ruins outside the village of Oxberlo. The sun was setting over the great hills and casted the old man's shadow out to greet me as I approached. At first I was nervous about this old man. I could feel he was a man of great magic powers. He could have been a wizard or even the devil as far I knew. But as I came closer, I felt my worries melt away into a feeling of tranquility and peace. I was transfixed by this old china man standing on the road to Oxberlo. I stood before him in silence, waiting for something, but not knowing what. I felt his eyes looking into my soul, carefully searching. Then he smiled and handed me a small leather pouch. I took the pouch in my hand, but did not look inside. The old man then pointed toward the hills. Then he vanished. To this day, I swear he vanished. While the Doctor claims to be a mere mortal, I believe he is the ancient Chamula god from the East spoke of in the prophecy of the Lost Turkey Swamp.

I knew I had to follow the old man's directions and left the path to Oxberlo and headed toward the majestic Chamula highlands. I journeyed into the sunset and then into the growing darkness. Then as I climb to the top of a hill that looked out over the jungle and on to the Gulf far farrd away, I felt as if a hand had taken hold of my shoulder. I knew this was the place to stop and to discover the gift the old man had granted me. I sat down upon a patch of soft grass and emptied the leather pouch into my hand. Resting on my palm was an extremely large purple mushroom of a kind I had never seen nor dreamed could ever be.

As I looked up at the stars and felt the warm gulf breeze brushing smoothly against my cheek, I knew for the first time in my life what I had to do. I put the mushroom in my mouth and swallowed it. Then I waited. I knew something was about to happen, but my setting and my faith in the old man put me at ease. Slowly I noticed the cosmos above me beginning to move. Then I felt as if the great hill upon which I rested had a heart beat. Then all around me I saw orbs of light moving in intricate patterns all around me. I felt myself holding back. I did not want to go into the realm of spirits that I knew lay ahead. Then the old man appeared again, breaking through the orbs of light. He took my hand and I let go.

"Ghost Car" Outruns Police

Dr. Fong Says:
Hmmm not what I was expecting.

This video begins with the typical police chase with a driver swerving all over the road and driving like a maniac. I didn't have very high hopes for this "Ghost Car" video. I kept waiting for the car to just shut it's headlights off and disappear.

Near the end comes something that I didn't expect. It looks like the car goes right through a fence and then just speeds off leaving the cops in the dust.

I am not sure what is going on here. Has the video been edited or the car swerved through some opening in the fence that we can't see? Or is it some demonic car from the pits of hell? I am interested to see what you think about this in the comments.

Coast to Coast AM Rules!

Dr. Fong Says:
We are at your service.

Welcome Coast to Coast AM Fans!

We apologize for slow service the last couple days. Dr. Fong's House of Mysteries got linked on the front page of Coast to Coast AM with George Noory and have been getting lots of guests.

I love Coast to Coast AM, but it's hard to get it on the radio in my area. We used to listen to it whenever it was cloudy enough to bounce the signal to us across Lake Michigan. They had some really great interviews with Terence Mckenna back in the day.

I think its very cool that Dr. Fong's House of Mysteries has been featured on their main page and want to thank everyone for stopping by!

Coast to Coast AM

All I want for Christmas is a little homunculus...

Huan Says:
Making clay figure no look like scene from Ghost...

Huan find lump of clay in cursed cupboard of the wandering soul with label reading 'homunculus clay'.

What you want homunculus clay for many may ask. I will tell you after perhaps you put Occult Weekly Magazine down... this no library!!!!! You buy magazine if you want to read it so bad!!!

Now back to clay. With homunculus clay I make little person who come to life and do plenty work for Huan. No tell Master Fong so he think that Huan do work work work all day and all night and not watch Men in Trees instead of dusting evil chalice collection.

You want buy evil chalice?

I have to mould small figure and breath life in and then it will obey all Huan requests. This make big difference to what happen now where Huan make request and get beaten over head with broom for my trouble.

Perhaps I go out and get little clothes for homunculus? Maybe visitors of Master Fong give name to homunculus??? What your suggestions?

Mysterious Monkey Paw

Huan Says: New House of Mysteries plenty dusty...

Master Fong who is most brilliant and glorious is allowing me to use blog as long as it no interfere with my work. I am Huan I work in shop. I clean and pack and other jobs when required.

Big move! Lot's of work but I slip away to show you something I found that Master Fong say we cannot sell as it is too bad magic!

I move box of serpent tongues and behind it I find big box with glass case inside.

What this doing behind box of serpent tongue I think and open the box to find monkey paw. I remember when we got this we bought it from a Mr Mendrek who was plenty happy to be selling for 25c.

Master Fong he say Mendrek bought paw in Tibet and bring him bad luck all day long.

He say Mendrek have to get rid of monkey paw to bring back good luck and he was much shamed as he try to offload on music band. But music band say hey hey and break spell on themselves give to bad man and then Mendrek bring paw to Master Fong as he know he look after it.

I think it big shame to leave paw in box behind serpent tongue box as no one see it. It now hold fliers in back room so it make itself useful!!

Ahhhiiiieeee I get back to dusting. You buy something or get out!!

The work of Edward Gorey

Dr. Fong Says:
This is one of my personal favorites.

"Edward Gorey's illustrated (and sometimes wordless) books, with their vaguely ominous air and ostensibly Victorian and Edwardian settings, have long had a cult following."

"Although Gorey's books were popular with children, he did not associate with children much and had no particular fondness for them."

There was a young woman whose stammer

Was atrocious, and so was her grammar;
But they were not improved
When her husband was moved
To knock out her teeth with a hammer.

Who the hell keeps flushing the toilet?!

Dr. Fong Says:
A list of alien attack survival tips is being compiled and will be released soon.

This video is quite troubling to me. It shows a man being attacked in his home by gray aliens and it looks like he took quite a beating! Until now most contact with the grays has shown them to be a nonviolent race.

Why they would suddenly begin attacking civilians is beyond my understanding though I believe it to be the beginning of some sort of invasion.

We all pray that the person who was attacked in this video was able to survive. Even if he didn't it was lucky that someone released this video onto the Internet before it fell into alien hands. I hope that the word gets out fast enough to be able to do something about it.

Viva la Humans!

Box made from the skin of a Chinese murderer

Dr. Fong Says:
A very rare and unique piece.

"The beauty of this chest is indeed only skin deep, for the rich, brown lacquer-like substance with which it is covered is human leather- made from the skin of a murderer executed in Amoy, China."

This is a very rare treat indeed! We just received this chest the other day on consignment and have not had much time to examine it.

A box like this usually has many magical properties. Why else would someone make a box from human skin, especially the skin of a murderer?

One thing I have noticed about this box is that it seems to be able to hold much more than it naturally should. In other words, it seems to be bigger on the inside than on the outside! Very peculiar.

This would be a fine addition to any collection of mysterious curios.

Strange Weather - Ball Lightning

Dr. Fong Says:
Very interesting and rare weather caught on video!

Though the young man in the video seems to think these balls of light are some sort of alien craft, they look like what is called ball lightning to me. He is right to be scared, though as it is very dangerous.

He and his friends should be much more careful as ball lightning is very mischievous and likes to zoom into open windows and doors. Once inside your house ball lightning will head for your most expensive piece of furniture and promptly set it on fire.

These guys are very lucky to have witnessed this as ball lightning is very rare and mysterious.

Another Video
Learn more about ball lightning