Interview with Dave Brockie of GWAR

Dr. Fong Say:

He's even scarier in real life than he is as Oderus Urungus, lead singer of GWAR! Warning: this interview contains explicit material.

"Forged in the furnaces of the Master's Slave-Pits. Created to be the most destructive force in the universe. Banished to Earth for colossal crimes too hideous to be named. GWAR, the most bellicose band in cosmic history, is back from the frozen wasteland of Antarctica with their most searing musical assault to date-prepare yourself, human filth, for the metal mayhem that is GWAR's latest and greatest album to date--prepare yourself for "WAR PARTY"."

ABC News Shows Exclusive Lake Monster Footage

Dr. Fong Say:

While the video isn't that spectacular, it comes from a reputable source and has been analyzed and shown to be authentic. The fishermen who took it say that the creature was much bigger than what can be seen in the video. The digital camera only captured the parts of the beast that were very near the surface. Worth a look.

"Residents near Lake Champlain in New York say they have their own Loch Ness monster. They call it Champ, and it's a local legend."

"ABC News obtained exclusive video of something just under the surface of the lake that some say may be Champ. The video was taken by two fishermen with their digital camera last summer. Before their supposed sighting, they were Champ skeptics."

"It was as big around as my thigh," said fisherman Peter Bodette. "I'm 100 percent sure of what we saw. I'm not 100 percent sure of what it was."

Link to the video

The Cat Piano

Dr. Fong Say:

Poor kitties don't like spikes driven into their tails. What kind of sicko would get joy out of such cruelty? If this device could be made in such a way as to not hurt the cat then I would be all for it. What about it science? Can we make a humane cat piano for the 21st century?

"In order to raise the spirits of an Italian prince burdened by the cares of his position, a musician created for him a cat piano. The musician selected cats whose natural voices were at different pitches and arranged them in cages side by side, so that when a key on the piano was depressed, a mechanism drove a sharp spike into the appropriate cat’s tail. The result was a melody of meows that became more vigorous as the cats became more desperate. Who could not help but laugh at such music? Thus was the prince raised from his melancholy."

Hallucinogenic tea - UPDATE!

Dr. Fong Say:

I reported back in November that Bush was trying to stop a small congregation from drinking water infused with DMT in order to "talk to God." Well, it's all over and it has been decided they can drink it even though it contains a schedule 1 substance.

"Chief Justice John Roberts said that the Bush administration had not met its burden under a federal religious freedom law to show that it could ban "the sect's sincere religious practice."

"The chief justice had also been skeptical of the government's position in the case last fall, suggesting that the administration was demanding too much, a "zero tolerance approach."

Link to the original article

Weird NASA UFO Movie

Dr. Fong Say:

This is some footage of strange things that have been recorded by astronauts in space. Most of it looks like dust to me. Again, too low quality to make any kind of determination.

"In front of an assembled audience of UFO enthusiasts and the media, evidence was presented that would appear to indicate the existence of, not one, but two types of unknown extraterrestrial lifeforms. Labeled ‘Phenomena One’ and ‘Phenomena Two’ by a man who spent several years recording and logging thousands of hours of NASA space shuttle transmissions, this "historic" footage and the story that lay behind its discovery can now be revealed."

New Interview from David Icke

Dr. Fong Say:

Noted author and lecturer, David Icke believes that reptile aliens have cast a "frequency net" over the planet to stop us from attaining our true potential. This is a recent interview where you get a pretty good understanding of his point of view.

"What we call the 'world' and the 'universe' is only one frequency range in an infinite number sharing the same space. The interdimensional entities I write about are able to move between these frequencies or dimensions and manipulate our lives."

"When people say they saw a 'UFO' disappear in front of their eyes, for example, the 'craft' has not 'disappeared' it has left the frequency range their eyes can access and thus, to them, it seems to disappear. Ghosts are entities on other frequencies, too."

Link to the original article

Ancient Tree in Indiana

Dr. Fong Say:

Whoa, that's one old tree. I does seem like a shame that a tree could remain intact for 6000 years only to have someone chop it up and turn it into top-dollar furniture.

"A large oak tree dug up last summer in a gravel pit could be 6,000 years old or more and might have been entombed by a glacier during the last ice age, scientists say."

"Based on how deep the tree was buried, he and others estimate its age at 6,000 years. But it could be much older - perhaps up to 30,000 years."

Link to the original article

NEW: Dr. Fong's Podcast of Mysteries

Dr. Fong Say:

I have finally done it and jumped on the Podcast bandwagon. I'm just learning how to do it but once I get the hang of it they should start coming out fairly regularly.

"Dr. Fong's Podcast of Mysteries will be evolving over time into a weird news and eclectic music Podcast. The weird news will consist of some of the strangest stories from throughout the week."

Link to us at iTunes

Link to our Podcast Feed

Make Garfield Funny Again

Dr. Fong Say:

How do you make Garfield funny again? Remove everything Garfield is thinking. It works great! If you want larger versions of the pictures... just click them.

Without Garfield's thoughts... "some become surreal non-sequiters. Some maintain the original intent of the comic, just funnier and some just really magnify Jon's sad, pathetic life."

Link to the original post

The Secret Beginnings of Valentine's Day

Rites of the Lupercalia

"The annual Lupercali festival of the Romans on February 15 was a perpetuation of the ancient blooding rites of the hunter in which the novice is smeared with the blood of his first kill. The sacrificial slaying of a goat- representing the flocks that nourished early humans in their efforts to establish permanent dwelling places—was followed by the sacrifice of a dog, the watchful protector of a flock that would be the first to be killed by attacking wolves.

The blood of the she-goat and the dog were mixed, and a bloodstained knife was dipped into the fluid and drawn slowly across the foreheads of two noble-born children. Once the children had been “blooded,” the gore was wiped off their foreheads with wool that had been dipped in goat milk. As the children were being cleansed, they were expected to laugh, thereby demonstrating their lack of fear of blood and their acknowledgment that they had received the magic of protection against wolves and wolfmen.

Dr. Fong Say:

So remember folks, next time you think Valentine's Day is just a happy love festival look a little bit deeper. Under all of the pink fluff and chocolate their just might be a creepy and bloody ritual involving she- goats, werewolves, and LOTS OF BLOOD! Happy Valentine's Day!

The god Lupercus, represented by a wolf, would next inspire and command men to behave as wolves, to act as werewolves during the festival.

Lupus (wolf) itself is not an authentic or original Latin word, but was borrowed from the Sabine dialect. Luperca, the she-wolf who suckled Romulus and Remus, may have given rise to secret fraternities known as the Luperci, who sacrificed she-goats at the entrances to their “wolves’ dens.” For centuries, the Luperci observed an annual ritual of chasing women through the streets of Roman cities and beating them with leather thongs.

Scholars generally agree that such a violent expression of eroticism celebrated the ancient behavior of primitive hunting tribes corraling captive women. Once a wolfman had ensnared a woman with his whip or thong, he would lead her away to be his wife or lover for as long as the “romance” lasted. Perhaps, as some scholars theorize, this yearly rite of lashing at women and lassoing them with leather thongs became a more acceptable substitute for the bloodlust of the Luperci’s latent werewolfism that in days past had seen them tearing the flesh of innocent victims with their teeth.

As the Romans grew ever more sophisticated, the Lupercali would be celebrated by a man binding the lady of his choice wrist to wrist, and later by passing a billet to his object of desire, suggesting a romantic rendezvous in some secluded place."

Link to the original article

On the Effectiveness of Golem Labor

Dr. Fong Say:

Free Golem labor would change the world labor market if only they were more controlable. Notice that the first thing this one does after being brought to life is walk up and punch the camera. What a jerk!

"In Jewish folklore, a golem (גולם, sometimes pronounced goilem) is an animated being which is crafted from inanimate material."

"Having a golem servant was seen as the ultimate symbol of wisdom and holiness, and there are many tales of golems connected to prominent rabbis throughout the Middle Ages."

Link to the Golem Wiki

Never Trust Sex Robots

Dr. Fong Say:

Sure, they look like lots of fun, but robots aren't toys. They especially aren't sex toys. That's not to mention the numerous robot STDs (robo- sypha 9000, herp-aids V3b2, etc.) that are being spread because of curious passersby.

"I have no idea what the back-story is behind this guy in a robot suit made out of cardboard boxes standing on the roadside, holding up a sign marked FREE ROBOT SEX, with the words SEXBOT V2.0 markered to the front of it. But really, does this need a backstory?"

Link to the original article

The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets

Dr. Fong Say:

I have just recently discovered these guys. I don't know how a Lovecraft fanatic like me has survived for all these years without listening to The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets. These guys rock! IA IA CTHULHU FHTAGN!

"The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets is a rock band that is dedicated to promoting the literature of H.P. Lovecraft, who wrote of lost cities, tainted geneology, alien gods, and that fabled tome, The Necronomicon."

"They're on a Lovecraft binge of madness, and they mean to take you with them. The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets have a reputation for entrancing and inciting their live audiences with their melodic blend of energetic punk and rock, while wearing graphic costumes."

Link to their homepage

Dead Stuffed Animals

Dr. Fong Say:

This is the work of Patricia Waller. She likes to crochet dead and and injured things. Awwwww, cute dead bunnies stabbed with their own carrots and disemboweled cats!

"Mutants and aliens as a metaphor for the heedless risk of manipulating our own nature, as an index fossil for a science that attempts to optimise life without ethical reservations. This lack puts balance and shelteredness in natural processes at stake. Feelings have no role to play."


Link to the gallery

Dogman Shirts Available Now!

Dr. Fong Say:

Dr. Fong's Private Stash This is a design for the Northern Michigan Dogman Festival to take place on July 7, 2007. This design is currently available at the Dr.Fong Store on t-shirts and mugs. The front of the shirts feature the Dogman and the back has a list of all the Dogman sightings dating back to 1887. Stop by the store and check them out. Visit the store!

$1000 for proof Earth revolves around Sun

Dr. Fong Say:

Whaaaa? I thought that the Earth was flat!? How can it be revolving around the Sun; we would all fall off the side! I think they have a pretty safe bet. Of course when you are the ones judging what "proof" is I bet you can get away with a lot.

UPDATE: Their site about this is gone. Must have gotten depressed over all of the good answers they got.

"The Geocentrism Challenge"

"CAI will write a check for $1,000 to the first person who can prove that the earth revolves around the sun."

"Obviously, we at CAI don't think anyone CAN prove it, and thus we can offer such a generous reward. In fact, we may up the ante in the near future."

Link to the original article

MTV seeks cryptozoology hosts!

Dr. Fong Say:

Well, I think that I'm an obvious choice to host this show! Who knows more of Mothman's secrets than I do? Who can perform the mating call of the Pacific Northwest's Bigfoot? Who will chase the Northern Michigan Dogman back to his lair and expose him for all to see? Dr. Fong will! Choose me MTV!

"We are looking for two young Crypto enthusiasts, 18 and older, to host an upcoming fun, hip, and off the wall series that looks inside the world of cryptozoology, creatures, legends, and the people who investigate them. the hosts should be really into cryptozoology, and have an interest or even borderline obsession with undiscovered creatures, mythical beasts, and unclassified species. You should have a unique personality and be comfortable in front of a camera."

Link to the original article

Hillbilly quote of the day

A Paralyzing Fear of Clowns

Dr. Fong Say:

See. It's Real! And it isn't just me! Things have never been the same since I saw the movie IT. They all float down here Georgie!

"Although there are no official statistics, some experts believe that as many as one in seven people experience some level of coulrophobia, as fear of clowns is clinically known."

"Symptoms can include shortness of breath, irregular heartbeat, sweating, nausea and overall feelings of dread."

Link to the original article

Giant Owl Attacks Dogs

Dr. Fong Say:

Just when you thought it was safe to walk your dog! I've never trusted owls. Now we all may have reason to fear from these winged nightmares.

"Over the past fortnight, at least five dogs have been repeatedly targeted by the European eagle owl - the biggest of all the owl species - in Saxlingham Nethergate, near Norwich."

"But yesterday afternoon, as it swooped down in a fresh attack on two retrievers, Kevin Slater, 25, an amateur falconer, was able to cast a net over the huge bird of prey and catch it."

Link to the original article

Grandpa Munster Dies at 83

Dr. Fong Say:

What a shame. Everyone's favorite vampiric grandpa has passed away at the ripe old age of 83.

"Al Lewis, the cigar-chomping patriarch of "The Munsters" whose work as a basketball scout, restaurateur and political candidate never eclipsed his role as Grandpa from the television sitcom, died after years of failing health. He was 83."

Link to the original article

The Magic of Sea Monkeys!

Dr. Fong Say:

Hey do you remember Sea Monkeys? They came as tiny packets of powder with mysterious names like "Living Plasma". At the bottom of the picture of mutant sea people above, it says "Caricatures shown not intended to depict Artemia salina." Well, what the hell are those things supposed to be then?

"Sea-Monkeys are a hybrid of Artemia salina, a species of brine shrimp. These are a type of fairy shrimp -- not true shrimp, but a branchiopod. The term Sea-Monkeys (sometimes unhyphenated) is a trademark used to sell them as a novelty gift. They originate in salt lakes and salt evaporation flats."

"The key observation that allowed unhatched "Sea-Monkeys" to be cheaply packaged, shipped, and handled is that in certain easily-prepared environments they enter cryptobiosis, a natural state of suspended animation. When released into their aquarium they leave this state and hatch."

Sea Monkey Wiki

Beautiful Japanese Manhole Covers

Dr. Fong Say:

I love Japan. The Japanese put so much thought and attention into everything that they do. Do you want to know what manhole covers in the United States look like? Rusty crap! Check out this amazing group of photos.

Link to the gallery

"How I stalked my girlfriend"

Dr. Fong Say:

This is nuts! It is so easy to phycically track someone if you can get access to their cellphone for a while. This is a great read for anyone interested in the security of cellular phones.

"For the past week I've been tracking my girlfriend through her mobile phone. I can see exactly where she is, at any time of day or night, within 150 yards, as long as her phone is on. It has been very interesting to find out about her day."

"On the website a map appears of the area in which we live, with a person-shaped blob in the middle, roughly 100 yards from our home. There is no trace of what I'm doing on her phone."

Link to the original article

New Print is Proof of Big Cat Presence

Dr. Fong Say:

The police have been saying that this is just a house cat! It looks a bit bigger than that guys. I find it funny that people could deny something as large as a leopard for so long.

"Police believe they have the first conclusive proof a big cat, dubbed the "Beast of Balbirnie", could be on the loose in Fife. Officers have had a plaster cast of a paw print verified by experts who believe it is of an 18-month-old exotic large cat. George Redpath, Fife's big cat researcher, said he was "delighted" it had finally been confirmed. "I have always believed there are big cats in Fife after seeing black leopards on four different occasions."

Link to the original article