Only through Osiris worship will you retain your humanity

Osiris Says:

"I, Osiris, am Yesterday, and I am Today and I have the power to be born a second time. I, the hidden Soul create the gods, give sepulchral meals to the divine beings in Amenti and in heaven.

I, Osiris, the king of eternity, the lord of everlastingness, who traverseth millions of years in the duration of a life, the firstborn son of the womb of Nut, begotten of Seb, the prince of gods and men, the god of gods, the king of kings, the lord of lords, the prince of princes, the governor of the world, from the womb of Nut, whose existence is for everlasting, Unnefer of many forms and of many attributes, Tmu in Annu, the lord of Akert, the only one, the lord of the land on each side of the celestial Nile.

I write this to you, dear readers and faithful Dr. Fong's House of Mysteries supporters after a disagreement with the Grey Aliens. It seems that they had plans for the human population I was unaware of. In my communications with the Grey, I must assume human form and we all know that has drawbacks when one is used to being a God for so long.

The Grey have deceived me. I was told the Grey-Human hybrids would be introduced into the population to mix and live in harmony with the human population already here. This I now know to be false. The Grey have plans to hook every true human brain up to remote control devices in order to make them slaves.

Only the power of Osiris in God form being supplied power from devout worship can thwart the Grey technology. All that is required to worship me is to recite this thrice daily from now until your natural death:

"nuk ahu sa er teb ament xesef-a xesef su er teka set au seset-na set au setenem-na uat au-a em sa"

This, if done by enough people, will give me the power to pull the Grey into the underworld, otherwise you are all on your own.


Robot scientists control live mouse

Dr. Fong Says:
I, for one, welcome our new robotic-mouse overlords. Now get back into the cheese mines!

"Experts at the robot research centre in Shandong Technology University controlled white mice by stimulating micro-electrodes on their heads.

The mice obeyed computer-generated commands to, in succession, "turn left", "turn right" and "move forward"."

Ananova - Robot scientists control live mouse

Study: Prayer doesn't affect heart patients, otherwise titled...

Dr. Fong Says:
So the people who were prayed for were worse than the people who weren't. I think that God was ANGRY with them for participating in a study to prove He didn't exist.

"In the largest study of its kind, researchers found that having people pray for heart bypass surgery patients had no effect on their recovery. In fact, patients who knew they were being prayed for had a slightly higher rate of complications."

"The study looked for any complications within 30 days of the surgery. Results showed no effect of prayer on complication-free recovery. But 59 percent of the patients who knew they were being prayed for developed a complication, versus 52 percent of those who were told it was just a possibility."

CNN - Study: Prayer doesn't affect heart patients

Man convicted of shooting robot moose

Dr. Fong Says:
Normally, I am all for shooting robots, but eight people are charged with shooting this robotic moose. That seems a little excessive.

"A man has been banned from hunting for 20 years after shooting a robotic moose.

Robert Lee McLaren is the first person in Nova Scotia to be found guilty of the crime after shooting Bullwinkle, a full-sized moose decoy used by the Natural Resources Department to help combat the poaching of mainland moose. The animals became an endangered species in 2003.

Eight Guysborough County residents also charged with shooting the decoy will go to court later this spring."

About our staff

Doctor Fong

Age: 83
Home: The Internet

Special Abilities: His taste for the strange and mysterious have taken him to the four corners of the Earth and beyond. He is said to possess many mystic powers.

Huan the Shop Boy

Age: 14
Home: The pile of old newspapers in the corner

Special Abilities: Sweeping mostly; though his cooking has been getting a lot better lately.

UPDATE: Huan the Shop Boy has not been seen in some time. We think he may have gotten tired of all the abuse and run off to the circus.

Juan the Chamula

Age: 54
Home: Mexican Highlands

Special Abilities: Some might call it a gift of the gab others say it is an unnatural power granted to him by the Mushroom King.

Medico Nisaba-Practitioner of Infernal Necromancy

Age: 27 this incarnation - 857 years old total
Home: Scotland

Special Abilities: He is a Practitioner of Infernal Necromancy, duh.

Stan the Chosen One

Age: unknown
Home: unknown

Special Abilities: unknown


Age: Ageless
Home: Homeless

Special Abilities: He claims he is the Egyptian God of the dead and the underworld with all rights and powers granted hitherto.

UPDATE: Osiris is no longer writing for Dr. Fong's House of Mysteries; though he has been known to still comment from time to time.

All content is © of Dr. Fong's House of Mysteries. All photos are used for commentary purposes only, All other content is the property and copyright of their respective owners, If anyone believes that their copyright has been misused, you can email me and I will remove the items.

Users may submit posts for consideration. Anyone wishing to contribute to the blog should contact for guidelines.

Individual posts, comments and opinions expressed are those of the individuals within a range of guidelines.

Self-referential signs

Dr. Fong Says:
The idea of self-referential signs has interested me for a while now.

I was able to find a few examples to confuse and mystify you. Enjoy.

A self-referential sign is one that seems to have no use other than to point itself out or even warn viewers of the dangers inherent in the sign itself.

For example, the sign below exists only to warn people that they may bump their heads on the very sign itself.

This one is just as confusing. Why does this sign exist? It isn't even a signpost it's a tree. I guess it IS a signpost once you nail a sign to it. It's very confusing.

If anyone finds other examples of self-referential signs please post links to them in the comments section above so that everyone can enjoy the joyful insanity of them.

Crowds flock to see Alabama Leprechaun

Dr. Fong Says:
"This is one of the most ignorant things I have seen in a while. One woman blames the problems on crackheads up in the trees."

"I love the shitty amature sketch of what was seen. Such accuracy! They even remembered the buckle on his hat."

This is a video of the stir caused by people flocking to see the Alabama Leprechaun. He only comes out at night, lives in a tree and vanishes if you shine a light on him.

There is one man who claims that his overalls will ward off magic spells cast by the Leprechaun. He also claims to have a "thousand year old" flute given to him by his great great grandfather.


Quicksand Myth Debunked:

Dr. Fong Says:
One more of our imaginary fears soundly defeated by science! Start lining 'em up baby!

"Falling into quicksand isn't quite as bad as some movies make it out to be. Instead of being sucked all the way in, quicksand victims will float once they get about waist deep, according to a new study."

"Yet while the risk of vanishing has apparently evaporated, escaping the muck is still a tough task: To pull one leg free requires the amount of force needed to lift a small car."

"The advice : Stay calm and eventually you'll float. Stretch out on your back to increase your surface area and wait until your legs pop free. Bonn also suggests moving your legs around at this point, to stir in water, which will help you float."

Link to the original article

Grey Aliens and your NEED to submit

Osiris Says:
Have questions? Ask Osiris in the comments section! I am the spokesman after all!

For decades we have been hearing about alien creatures (no, not the ones from other countries, that's needs to go to a political blog not this one). Like everything in life, some people have believed and some have doubted. Well, I , Osiris am here to WARN you to believe. Not only believe but work with the Greys in the colonization of planet Earth. I have been visited countless times by these beings and their technology is simply ASTOUNDING.

The days of the probing and experiments is over, I haven't been told an exact date, but the Grey are coming for good. They have created Human-Alien hybrids to be able to survive on the harsh planet Earth, these hybrids will be indistinguishable from a regular human. The hybrids, though will have the ability to read your thoughts and implant thoughts into your mind.

Nothing can stop this, I have made a deal with the Greys by agreeing to be their spokesman. This is not really a bad thing. All life-forms must evolve or die. This is our next step in evolution. What of the Reptile-Humanoid, then? The Reptile Humanoid is on it's last legs as a species, and is resorting to lame public relations to attempt to save itself. The plain fact is, the Reptile-Humanoid will have to flee to escape destruction. Period. End of story.

Rabid Guinea Pigs on the Loose

Dr. Fong Says:
In a discussion about rabies the question of a rabid guinea pig came up. Was this possible? Well a quick search later I found this story.

Bitten on the clavicle eh? If a guinea pig bit my clavicle there wouldn't be enough of the pig left to test for rabies.

"The rabid guinea pig is an unusually rare occurrence. The guinea pig was a pet of a resident of Madison County. While being allowed to exercise in a backyard during daylight hours the rodent was attacked by a raccoon. The owner heard the pet squeal and as she approached, the raccoon ran off. There were no visible wounds on the pet."

"Twenty six days later the owner was bitten on the clavicle while holding the pet. Because rabies was originally not suspected, an additional eight days elapsed before the pet was euthanized and submitted for testing. The positive diagnosis was confirmed by isolation of the virus in cell culture and antigenic typing. The variant was identified as the raccoon strain of rabies virus. Further analysis of the distribution of rabies virus in the organs of the guinea pig revealed extensive proliferation of the virus into many areas of the body, including the salivary glands. The owner received rabies prophylaxis."

Terence Mckenna Audio Archive

Oh Terence, it has been so long. Your archive has been down for quite some time and just came back. Oh joy. Countless megabytes of Terence Mckenna lectures and interviews in mp3 format for your downloading pleasure.

Doctor Fong's prescription for the day: Go here and download at least 100 megabytes of Terence and listen to it. This guy will BLOW YOUR MIND! I recommend "the Tree of Knowlege" 1-8.

Link to everything Terence ever said.

Update: A lot of this is no longer available. If you happen to see these posted somewhere else please let us know about it in the comments and we can update the link.

Disney VD Cartoon

Dr. Fong Say:

A Disney Nasty! Much reminiscent of the sequel to Bambi: "Bambi goes crazy ape bonkers with his drill and sex." Disney can get down and dirty when they need to.

Originally Released by Disney in 1973.

A general addressing his troops, which happen to be syphilis and gonorrhea germs. There are also characters representing ignorance and fear.

This is an educational short produced at the Walt Disney Studios.

Megaphone Helmet

Dr. Fong Say:

Truly amazing! I could yell from my soapbox and juggle at the same time! Sadly, the auction is at $150 right now.

"Just look at the picture. There's really nothing more to say. A pair of immeasurably awesome megaphone hats from the 1950s. Includes a pair of shoulder-mounted battery packs which can also be used to transmit morse code through the hats. Ebay item #6045938976, 5 days to go, £45 starting bid. Awesome."

Original Posting

Brand New Sasquatch Video - January 26th, 2006

Dr. Fong Say:

Wow, this is pretty cool. Too bad it is so dark. I wish those headlights could have shed a little more light on this.

"I was on highway 169 in Ely, Northern Minnesota. The date was January 26th, 2006. The time that it happened was around 4:30 a.m."

"As I was driving down the road I heard screams coming from the woods. It can be compared to an owl type hooting/cry. This caused me to slow down & to see what it was. I was driving about 5 miles an hour or less when in front of my headlights walked this creature which was on 2 legs. When it moved across my headlights it was limping and also walked in a gyrating type manner. Its body was covered in brownish fur and around its face area was black. It looked at me through my windshield then made its way over to the left side of the road, where it stood watching me. I grabbed my camera & turned on the 'nightvision' setting & started to film. As I filmed its back was turned to me & it did something near the pine tree & then limped up the hill into the woods. I am angry because I could only see what showed with my headlights as it was hard to make out details. This thing was large in mass & my guess it was probably stood around 6 feet high. It seemed to me that this creature was very weak or sickly based on its movement & noises that it made."

6-legged lamb born

Dr. Fong Say:

I'm rooting for you little guy! Just keep on keeping on.

"A lamb with six legs, four in front and two at the back, has been born on a farm in Belgium, the news agency Belga reported today.

The lamb cannot walk and has to be specially fed.

A veterinary surgeon who examined it was reported as saying he would consider amputating the two superfluous legs to give the animal a normal existence if it managed to survive beyond a week."

Link to the original article

Guatemalan UFO Footage

Dr. Fong Say:

Now, I am no video expert, but this footage looks pretty good. Some of the best I've seen.

This clip was found on Google Video with the description:

"UFO seen over Guatemala City in 2004, over the cultural disctrit 4° Norte, it was cloudy, and the ufo seem to appear from the clouds and shoots to the sky at incredible speed."

When Flesh-Eating Subterranean Monsters Attack

Dr. Fong Say:

Subterranean beings, huh Drew? Sounds like C.H.U.D. to me. That's Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground
Has anyone but me ever seen that movie? I have it on VHS. Total Classic!

"A California man facing life in prison for crashing his car into a UPS truck will not dispute that his actions resulted in the death of the driver when his trial opens Monday in Nevada County Superior Court."

"Instead, Scott Krause's defense will argue that the defendant believed he was trying to escape man-eating subterranean beings when he ran into Drew Reynolds' truck on Jan. 6, 2004."

Link to the original article

House of Cosbys - Episode 2

Dr. Fong Say:

We need a little something lighter after that last entry. I need an injection of the Cos!

In episode 2 we are introduced to Super-Cosby super group "Cosby Team Triosby" and we are witness to the cloning of Cosby number 100.

Hummingbird-Cosby is my favorite!

House of Cosbys - Episode 1

Dr. Fong Say:

Theooooooo! Rudddddy!
This cartoon is really funny, you see.

This short cartoon is episode 1 of House of Cosbys - "A cautionary tale about cloning Bill Cosby." They get kinda... weird after the first 5 clones.

I guess the guy who wrote it has been bothered by Bill Cosby's lawyers and asked to take the movie down. So here it is.

New Game "Spore" Looks Amazing

Dr. Fong Say:

This new game from Maxis looks so cool! You get to evolve an entire galaxy beginning at the cellular level. Check out the video.

"Will Wright talking at the 2005 Game Developer's Conference about 'Spore', which looks like it could possibly be the best video game ever."

SPORE Official Website

New Climbing Robot

Dr. Fong Say:

Ok this is kinda creepy. Now when the robot armies come we will have no place to hide!

"RiSE is a small six-legged robot that climbs vertical terrain such as walls, trees and fences. RiSE's feet have claws, micro-claws or sticky material, depending on the climbing surface. RiSE changes posture to conform to the curvature of the climbing surface and a fixed tail helps RiSE balance on steep ascents."

Strange disc-shaped craft spotted on Cape Hatteras, NC

Dr. Fong Say:

This weird disc-shaped building was photographed on my recent trip in North Carolina. Why someone would want this in their yard is beyond me.

This disc sits in someone's yard near Cape Hatteras in North Carolina and it looks like people could go inside at one point. Strange creatures have been arranged looking out of the windows and looked pretty creepy as the sun set. There was a rumor that this was a restuarant at one point but it did not look very stable sitting on just a few crumbling cindar blocks.

Dr. Fong is back!

What an amazing week I have had! I have been traveling around the country searching for weird news for the blog. I have quite a few things to report over the next week. Although there have been some blogging shenanigans while I was out, the weird news should start flowing fast and furious now that I'm back. There is also an update on our mysterious tunnel expedition in the works, so stay tuned.

Dead Birds Linked With Satanic Rituals?

"N.J. state police are bringing in an occult expert to investigate after Jersey Shore residents in Egg Harbor Township found eight large birds decapitated and lined up on the beach. Residents are concerned because it's not the first time it's happened. The disturbing discovery was made in Atlantic County.

What neighbors saw on the beach was not an act of nature -- eight large birds with their heads removed. The carcasses were laid out in a line, all of them facing the same direction.

Marybeth Bennett rescues injured birds. She said this is the second case of apparent animal sacrifice in the last 15 months.
"This all has to be looked into and it has to be stopped. It cannot be a repeat thing that happens every year," Bennett said.
"It makes you wonder is there a group of people who get kicks out of doing these type of things? And if so, we're a little concerned," said Dan Conway, who found the decapitated birds.

The dead birds were found near the site of an old mansion known as a haven for satanic rituals."

Link to the original article

Video: Fireworks Factory Explosion

Dr. Fong Say:

Holy Moley I hope that guy who was taking the video is all right!

"Check out this clip. Everytime I have ever been in a firework warehouse I have always wondered what would happen if the place caught on fire. I couldnt imagine the explosion. Well, this is an actual firework factory catching on fire. The clip is pretty cool but the end is amazing."

Applications Being Accepted For Tunnel Exploration

Dr. Fong Say:

On a long walk through the forest earlier this week, I discovered this strange tunnel leading into the hillside. It seemed to be unguarded. This dungeon will definitely need to be explored as it may contain treasure or other wonders.

I am currently forming a party for a scouting expedition into this subterranean dungeon. I need someone who can read the strange Dwarvish runes to the left of the tunnel mouth and also has a good understanding of dungeon lore. I also need someone to use as a meat shield in case the tunnel is filled with trolls or gnomes. Others will be considered with an explanation of their various skills.

Please apply in the comments section of this blog.

Space Invaders Wall Decals

Dr. Fong Say:

Some people must really like old video games like this. Enough to slap them all over the walls in their houses. SHould I be getting money for promoting such things? The name of Fong holds a lot of clout in some circles.

"These Invader surface graphics are self-adhesive wall decals that easily allow you to transform your living or office space in minutes. Affix to any smooth, flat surface (wall, window, mirror, ceiling, tabletop or even the floor). Just peel and stick! And when you get tired with your design, the decals are removable so just relocate and freshen up."

Link to the product.