"I, Osiris, am Yesterday, and I am Today and I have the power to be born a second time. I, the hidden Soul create the gods, give sepulchral meals to the divine beings in Amenti and in heaven.
I, Osiris, the king of eternity, the lord of everlastingness, who traverseth millions of years in the duration of a life, the firstborn son of the womb of Nut, begotten of Seb, the prince of gods and men, the god of gods, the king of kings, the lord of lords, the prince of princes, the governor of the world, from the womb of Nut, whose existence is for everlasting, Unnefer of many forms and of many attributes, Tmu in Annu, the lord of Akert, the only one, the lord of the land on each side of the celestial Nile.
I write this to you, dear readers and faithful Dr. Fong's House of Mysteries supporters after a disagreement with the Grey Aliens. It seems that they had plans for the human population I was unaware of. In my communications with the Grey, I must assume human form and we all know that has drawbacks when one is used to being a God for so long.
The Grey have deceived me. I was told the Grey-Human hybrids would be introduced into the population to mix and live in harmony with the human population already here. This I now know to be false. The Grey have plans to hook every true human brain up to remote control devices in order to make them slaves.
Only the power of Osiris in God form being supplied power from devout worship can thwart the Grey technology. All that is required to worship me is to recite this thrice daily from now until your natural death:
"nuk ahu sa er teb ament xesef-a xesef su er teka set au seset-na set au setenem-na uat au-a em sa"
This, if done by enough people, will give me the power to pull the Grey into the underworld, otherwise you are all on your own.