The Night of the Krampus

Dr. Fong Says:
The Krampus only checks his list once.

Oh! You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why:

the Krampus is coming to town
to torture your children!

In some European countries Santa Claus doesn't have to do all the work by himself. Santa's only job is rewarding nice children. The naughty children get a visit from something far more hideous, the Krampus.

The Krampus is depicted as a horned, shaggy, bestial, and demonic creature. In many depictions the Krampus looks like popular images of the Devil, complete with red skin, cloven hooves, and short horns.

When the Krampus visits your house you don't get any presents. The Krampus comes with switches and is a tormentor of naughty children. He may simply leave a lump of coal as a warning for them to shape up, or if the children have been especially wicked, the Krampus may tie them up with chains and whip them with switches.

Because of the Krampus Christmas Eve became known as the time when children were best behaved.


Osiris said...

Naughty children deserve to be tortured. Krampus, finish them off and send them to the Underworld, I will handle the situation from there...

I think Krampus can send quite a bit of business my way; naughty children have become an epidemic.

Juan the Chamula said...

The Krampus is a very real thing. The children of the Chamulas are some of the naughtiest in the world. Every Christmas Eve we must lock them all in the cellars beneath the temple for thier protection. All night long we sit in the cold and watch the sky. Yet still he finds a way to get at them with his chains and whips. I will never forget the screaming...

Osiris said...

The children of the Chamulas will someday grow to be adult Chamulas. Krampus knows this problem must be nipped in the bud. All vicious torture of the Chamula children by the Krampus has my seal of approval.
I also hear their painful screams and moans as they are cast into the Underworld. It is my duty to guide all the souls in the Underworld towards eventual rebirth, but the naughty children do not fare well, I'm afraid.

Morganna said...

I've never heard of the Krampus before LOL. I love it! I don't have kids but, I can see the need for Santa's lil helper lol.

Thanks for stopping by my Blog Doc! :) I love that pic too! Maybe the cookie monster could scream in bad little childrens faces LOL.


Reverend Nutmeg said...

I remember being taunted by Santa Clause while growing up. He lived under my bed and drank whiskey and cried before he fell asleep. After he died his corpse rotted and fouled the air of my bedroom. He left a suicide note but I lost it after we moved.

Osiris said...

Reverend Nutmeg, it sounds like you had an alcoholic father or uncle in a Santa suit under your bed. You are better off with out them.

I sometimes drink Gin + Tonics, take sleeping pills and cry before I fall asleep. I don't dress in a Santa suit, though, so I guess I'm ok?

Reverend Nutmeg said...

Dear Osiris,
Come to think of it, my father went to the store to get a pack of cigarettes and never returned right around the same time the Santa man died.

Very odd indeed.

I believe that crying while inducing large amounts of pills and alcohol is not only normal, but healthy as well. However if one is to don a Santa outfit, I fear there is no measurement available to gauge the depths of insanity in which they dwell.

I have only slept five times this month.

Osiris said...

Well, that's a load off my mind. Drinking and taking pills then crying yourself to sleep is cathartic, I guess. Now I must take my leave to visit my local liquor store as I am dangerously low on gin and tonic water.

If you have only slept five times this month, may I suggest you consume mass quantities of gin+tonic and sleeping pills? It works for me!

raven said...

Wow, that's a lot scarier than a lump of coal. I'll have to remember him next time my daughter is acting up!! Hehehe

Osiris said...

I read your comment and decided to speak with Krampus. Sorry to say, your daughter is already on his "naughty" list. Don't feel nervous though, most of the people who read the Dr Fong Blog are naughty, so you will be in good company.