Frankfort, Michigan's Miracle Spring Water

Dr. Fong Says:
How you think I live so long?


In the tiny town of Frankfort, Michigan there is a place where invigorating spring water flows up from the ground. This water has always known for its restorative qualities and unique smell.

The last time I was in Frankfort I secretly bottled some of this amazing restorative water. The locals of Frankfort don't like people "stealing" their miracle water so one has to be discrete.

I am now offering sample 8 oz bottles of this amazing water for sale here on Dr. Fong's House of Mysteries. There is a very limited supply. If you want more you have to steal it yourself. Please read our disclaimer before purchasing.

Frankfort, Michigan's Miracle Spring Water

12 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Isn't that the old open well that
has all those dead birds floating in it.

Doctor Fong said...

I assure you that there are no dead birds anywhere near this water.

Anonymous said...

Is it all the goose shit that has seeped into the groundwater there that gives it it's "unique" smell?

Doctor Fong said...

Most of the geese are at least a block away!

Anonymous said...

Not to mention the naturally carbonated grey color.

Doctor Fong said...

Those are the minerals...

Anonymous said...

Isn't it true that even E-Coli
can't live in it?

Doctor Fong said...

This water is Demon Free!

How dare you cast aspersions of necromanic behaviors!

Anonymous said...

Why don't you send a bottle of it
to Britney Spears as a test for all
to observe and see what the results
turn out to be.

Medico Nisaba-Practitioner of Infernal Necromancy said...

No simple spring water can reverse my POX on Britney!

Huan the Shop Boy said...

Water it get the stains out of socks from mud beast of gotherang. Ummm I no touch water, me clean now like good shop boy

Doctor Fong said...

Huan, I'm glad you brought that up!

Frankfort, Michigan's Miracle Spring Water is great for cleaning.

It gets out all sorts of stains that other miracle waters leave behind.