Mountain Lions in Northern Michigan

Dr. Fong Says:
Follow my advice and you just may live to see tomorrow.

Mountain Lions have been spotted in Northern Michigan with more frequency in the last few years. I know a number of people who have had first hand encounters with these fierce beasts.

It is important that you know what you should do when encountering a Michigan mountain lion or other dangerous big cat.
  1. Don't Run!
  2. Stare It Down - crush it with the force of your will!
  3. Make horrible screeching noises at it. It may think you are a bigfoot, the natural enemy of the mountain lion, and leave you alone.
  4. Use Projectile Weapons - A well aimed magic missile or a shotgun work well.
  5. If Attacked Fight Back - Unleash torrents of curses and knife thrusts! Bite it! Punch its naughty bits!


Anonymous said...

When I wander through the woods I always take my trusty Puma stick. It also works on filthy housecats.
Peter Soma

Doctor Fong said...

Peter Soma it has been so long! Get in touch with me sometime. We should hang out one of these days.

michael said...

I have found that sharing some of
your trail mix with the lion may buy you a few more precious seconds.