The End of Days?

Medico Nisaba:
The end is nigh! She gave me the Innsmouth look!


Many people have their own theories on the coming end of days. Actually, most people form "their idea" on the end of days from their Religious leaders. These people are fools. They are too feeble-minded to form their own wacky theory, so they cling to what they have been told.

Most of us here at Dr. Fong's House of Mysteries know the end is near. We are an intuitive people, we can feel it in our bones and deep within our souls.

The true question I pose is: What crazy, wacky improbable scenario will actually end our reign on the planet? Will the Rapture come and save the righteous and cast all us sinners here at Dr. Fong's into eternal damnation? I believe not. You may wish to know of my theory; you may wish to never know. If you read this, you will know, so beware.

My theory may shock and amaze you, it may also bore you to tears and force you to come to the conclusion that I am a blubbering madman with no value whatsoever. My theory on the End Of Days is this: I will bring back the Great Old Ones. The Great Old Ones will descend upon Earth and wreak unimaginable horror and destruction.

All will worship the Great Old Ones; or die.

In other words, you will all be converted into horrible fish-people who worship the Great God Dagon, or you will be offered a as a sacrifice to him. Prepare for this event however you will; there is no stopping it. I will not reveal the exact date of this monumental event, but it will be within a decade.

22 Comments:

Anonymous said...

SWEET GOD!! Don't do this!!!

I don't want to be a fish-person or worship Dagon!!!!

Anonymous said...

With mogwai comes great responsibility...

Stan the Chosen One said...

YOU TRAITOR!!! I trusted you and you try to summon The Old Ones! I will stop at nothing until you and Cthulu are dead!

Ratty said...

Will there be plenty of food if I am a fish-person? And are the sacrifices publicly held?

Medico Nisaba said...

ohhh yes, if you submit and become a fish-person there will be much food, and much gold!

Anonymous said...

Bring on the fish people... I want some sushi

Stan the Chosen One said...

Good, a return to the old dr fong blogs. Keep it up, the rest of this stuff is nonsense!

Enrique Morales Jr. said...

no no no! I can't stand all this horrible news. I refuse to let these great old ones take me.

I choose death over enslavement.

Stan the Chosen One said...

HEY JERK!!! Stop posing as me! You think I wouldn't come and check up on Medico betraying us all? Come up with your own name! By the way Medico, I'm coming for you!

Tabby said...

Your theory is only shocking in how stupid it is. You will be sacrificed with the rest of us.

Tony said...

Hey, we've taken on some pretty bad ass aliens before and prevailed so the Great God Dagon will just have to get in line for his personalized whoop ass session from the Earth Defense Force and moi. I fear no alien god beast who has such a low self image that he must have continual sacrifices of human flesh to make him feel better or more important. What a wussy!

Dr. Fong said...

Look, I know many of you are upset about this recent article by Medico.

There is not really a whole lot I can do. Due to contractual obligations he is allowed to post whatever he likes.

I don't really want to be a fish-person either and am frankly appalled by the idea of having to live in the sea for all of eternity.

Medico Nisaba said...

All other life forms pale in comparison to the Great Old Ones.

You WILL worship them or die. Stan the Chosen One is first in line to be sacrificed to the Great God Dagon. Not because he is of any particular importance, just because I will be the one bringing the Great Old Ones back into our plane of existence, and I don't much care for the guy...

Medico Nisaba said...

Dr. Fong made a bad business decision a while back which allows me to use his blog to inform all you unwashed masses of my plans to restore the Order of the Great Old Ones.

As long as I don't directly threaten him, he must obey our agreement.

Dr. Fong can offer no protection to you Stan, nobody can. The days of your hollow threats are coming to an end.

The Great Old Ones will bring ruin to the Earth. They will destroy your financial power; you will not be able to obtain what you need to thwart them.

They will then ruin your ability to barter for goods by instilling mistrust in your hearts.

Then the sacrifices begin and we all know how things proceed from there...

Andrea said...

Well, if it's going to happen, it's going to happen. I guess being a fish-person is better than nothing.

Stephen Gatling said...

you know what, i have heard enough bad news lately. im sick of it all, so if you want to bring these fish gods to destroy us go ahead and do it and get it over with. this just all really sucks!

Anonymous said...

I refuse to serve a deity who has a weakness to tarter sauce. Dagon's track record sucks.

cube said...

lol! You Miskatonic University grads make me laugh.

Dr. Fong said...

Man, lives to learn,
And so we try!
Sometimes we learn too much,
And then we die!
To those before, who opened up the door.
We will salute... The Honored Dead!
Their sacrifice was great.
And we can't wait til it's our turn.
And so we go, and boldly so.
To know what man's not meant to lear---n.
And I'm telling you,
It's no mere few.
Many are called,
many are chosen.
We seen some things that man should never see,
and filled the stacks inside the library,
with tomes and grimoires of the foulest kind.
To translate them could cost your mind.

love is powerful said...

We all have a spiritual guide, we all have guidance from extraterrestrials, we all have the law of attraction and hypnosis if willed, we all have strength from our chakras, we all can have a popwerful aura, we all have our soul connections, if you can all feel the energy of mind, we can have protection from fish gods real or not. we all need guidance from our angels, for love.

Anonymous said...

The real question here is wether Raptor Jesus can defeat Cthulhu in a battle to end all battles...

Anonymous said...

Good thing that the Lord Xenu will kick Dagon's ASS. All hail Xenu!