How to Summon a Shoggoth

Dr. Fong Says:
This isn't called summoning a Shoggoth; this is called doing your business in a jar and keeping it.

How to Summon a Shoggoth
by Parker Ryan

Facing the altar he takes up his dagger and inscribes his circle. He then returns the dagger to its place on the altar. He faces the physical representation of Shub-Niggurath and declares:

Shub-Niggurath is the Lord of the Woods. From the Wells of Night to the Gulfs of Space, and from the Gulfs of Space to the Wells of Night, ever the praises of Great Cthulhu, of Tsathogguau, and of Him Who is not to be Named. Ever their praises and abundance to the Black Goat of the Woods. Iä! Shub-Niggurath! The Black Goat with a Thousand Young!

Shub-Niggurath, Great Lord of the Woods, giver of Life, bestow your productivity to this rite. Confer your fertility. The portents of your fecundity are rejoiced. Ever praises to Shub-Niggurath the Black Goat of the Woods. Iä! Shub-Niggurath.

The Magician now removes his (black) robes and opens the container and begins to stimulate himself as he faces the sigil of the Shoggoth. He should carefully visualize the form chosen for the Shoggoth in the container. As the energy builds he should envision the energy going into the Shoggoth vivifying it. Deliberate over-breathing can be used to strengthen the ASC and energy of the rite. As the point of orgasm approaches the magician calls forth:

(Name chosen for the Shoggoth)! Come forth!

As he climaxes he should allow his mind to be overwhelmed by the sensations, eliminating completely (as possible) conscious thought. In this blank state of mind the Sigil (which the magician should be looking at) is the unconscious focus and directs the energy. The magician allows his sexual fluids to land on the Sigil energizing it and incarnating the Shoggoth.

After this the container is shut and the magician says:

Thanks and praises to Shub-Niggurath The Black Goat.

Iä! Shub-Niggurath.

He then makes the Sign of Koth followed by the Elder Sign. He then closes this portion of the rite in his customary fashion.

The above process should be repeated three times on three days (the may or may not be consecutive). The next stage of the rite is "feeding" the Shoggoth. Again, a magic-circle is advisable. The magician should enter whatever form of excitatory gnosis he feels suitable. Next, the magician opens the container with his left hand and makes the Elder Sign with his right hand. He then takes up his dagger and draws a small amount of blood. As the blood drops on the Sigil he calls forth:

(Shoggoth's name)!, I command you to feed and grow powerful so that you may serve my will!

I command you to feed and grow powerful so that you may serve my will!

I command you to feed and grow powerful so that you may serve my will!

(Name)! Drink my blood and take body!

As he does this he VERY INTENSELY visualizes the form of the Shoggoth. If he wishes he can envision the Shoggoth growing slightly. "Imagining" the Shoggoths form clearly is VERY important to the success of this rite. Each time this is repeated the image of the Shoggoth should become more and more clear and independent. As the days pass the Shoggoth should seem to appear as soon as the container is opened before the magician even tries to visualize it. This process is repeated every day for 37 more days. The entire rite takes forty days to complete. On the last day, after "feeding" it, the magician commands the Shoggoth thus:

(Name)!, I command you to leave your receptacle. Enter the world and perform your task as I will. Go forth and (state the task assigned to the Shoggoth). SO I COMMAND!

He then makes the Voorish Sign and destroys the talisman of Yhe and the Sign of the Elders on the lid of the container. If the function of the Shoggoth is fairly permanent (i.e., a Guardian of a location or object) the Shoggoth may need periodic "recharging." This can be done with either sexual energy or any other method of imparting magical energy the mage deems fit.

The Shoggoth should be VERY powerful as thought-form entities go. It should also be (or rapidly become) fairly independent and capable of autonomous action. With continued existence and use the Shoggoth will seem to develop its own "personality" and can become troublesome. If the Shoggoth becomes rebellious it may be necessary for the magician to destroy the Shoggoth. A standard but thorough banishing and the destruction of the Sigil should suffice

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Matt said...

Dear "Dr" Fong,

I do not know if this is the appropriate place to write this but I will take the liberty of doing so anyway.

I *know* that you are not a real doctor, and indeed, are only a high school graduate from Thomas Jefferson High, in Topeka, Kansas. Your real name is Henry Fong, you are a 3rd generation Chinese immigrant that speaks no Chinese whatsoever.

I googled you so I know these facts. I just don't want well meaning to fall for your fortune cookie fraud. Human beings need real heroes to help them fight against the reptilians, grays, and other extra-terrestrial and extra-dimensional threats. What they don't need is self interested fakes in it for the money, like you "Dr" Fong.

You can try to sue me using your lawyers (I know you have them and have used them to silence people before), but I warn you that I have no money anyway. Sue away, "good" "Dr" Fong.

Dr. Fong said...

Matt Matt Matt

Oh the horrible light of truth! How dare you bring such a thing to the House of Mysteries!

But seriously...Most posts on the House of Mysteries are better researched than your comment, which is quite sad. Though you did get one part right, I assure you my doctorate was bestowed upon me by a power far greater than a common university.

I guess my question to you would be: If you dislike what we do here so much then why are you still here? It's a big Internet out there Matt. Try to find something that brings you joy instead of just being a grump all the time and shitting in my soup.

Stan the Chosen One said...

Wow, leave it to C'thulu followers to make a ritual out of jerking off.