GWAR: Lust in Space


Dr. Fong Says:
My lords! You will find that the House of Mysteries has been well prepared for your grand arrival.

THE TIME IS NOW! On your knees in total, groveling submission as you pay homage to the true lords of the underworld, the mighty GWAR! Unassailable in grandeur, GWAR transcends the precepts of what a “band” truly is, and has become a worldwide cultural icon whose influence on our society has yet to be measured, yet it is utterly undeniable. GWAR rules!

Surrender yourself to the remorseless force that is GWAR. Join GWAR as they mark the 25th year of their re-awakening on Planet Earth with their new album, “LUST IN SPACE”, coming August 18th on Metal Blade Records!

GWAR has also proclaimed August 18th the beginning of a two-year celebration marking 25 years of constant GWAR mayhem on Earth.

“The event is so colossal that the idea of a more traditional, one-year celebration seemed completely inappropriate...this one is longer...and bigger!” quoted Oderus Urungus, GWAR's lead singer, from the bands Antarctic stronghold.

GWAR is Earth's only active band hailing from outer space. They are undying heavy-metal warlords who put on quite simply the greatest show in history. This brain-melting, ear-splitting, eruption of blood, guts and savage lust is a ritual every human must endure. It has given GWAR legendary status and unrivaled respect, and left a visible blot on not only their fans but society itself.

GWAR is part of an ancient order of warriors called the Scumdogs of the Universe. They were banished to earth for a hideous array of cosmic crimes. Once here they coupled with the ape and through this bestial sexual mutation the human race was born. But this was a crime too great for GWAR's cosmic master (the Master) to ignore. He imprisoned GWAR in timeless ice, deep beneath their hulking temple in the wastes of Antarctica.

Here they slept, all the while
dreaming the dreams of the humans that had grown to infest GWAR's world. But the day did come that GWAR stirred from it's ancient slumber and beheld the spectacle of what they had created. Underground figure Sleazy P. Martini, on the run, shot down over Antarctica, stumbled into GWAR's tomb at the precise moment of their re-awakening. His adroit thinking not only saved his life but got GWAR hooked on crack, and set them on the road in the form of a heavy-metal band! Here they immediately embarked on a 25-year (and counting) assault on the human race, and ultimately the Earth itself, the goal being the destruction of the human race and the actual melting of the entire planet (Oderus prefers melting planets). During this time they have toured relentlessly, released a slew of albums and videos, fought off hordes of alien attackers and have caused billions of dollars in worth of property damage. Yet despite their generally anti-social behavior, GWAR has inspired a worldwide cult of supporters and followers, ready to give their lives at a moments notice.

Bow down in utter abeyance to GWAR, master's of metal and lords over Earth!

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1 Comment:

Jon Nichols said...

There will never be another band like GWAR...unless of course actual aliens bring their act on the road to this world.